I find it so interesting to sit with all the emotions and fears that come up for me - whether they are delightful or uncomfortable - there is a gift in them all and the way to unlock that gift is to sit with those emotions and their physical sensations and just open to what they can grace you with. I haven’t always felt like this though.
It's a real edge for me to STAY. Full stop. I'm an avoider. My whole life I have lived in the shadow of avoidance and it's not always obvious to others or to myself. My shadow has the sneakiest ways of showing up and making me think that I'm staying with something when i'm actually not. Or it may tell me all the reasons why I don't need to stay. It took radical honesty with myself to start to transform this shadow into the light of love and grace. STAYING cracks my heart open a little bit more each time. Whether it's staying with a joyful feeling (because maybe you don't feel worthy of feeling joy) or with a gnarly feeling...you need to explore your edges with both. I just got sick of making detours around every hurdle that came up and I decided that I would start to see each 'hurdle' as a gift and I would STAY with the energy of it long enough to receive the energy and insight of that gift.
At times, I've sat with some pretty heavy fears. I have felt anxious, vulnerable (and fearful of what others may do / think on seeing that vulnerability), I have felt sad. I have experienced all the stories and scenarios running through my head. The conditioning telling me to panic and my ego trying to keep me in a constant state of worry. But these days I choose to STAY. I choose to be mindful. I gently guide myself back to my centre when the stories and worries threaten to take over my headspace. I lovingly choose to turn off the phone or T.V when I want to avoid the heaviness and dread in my body. I come back to my breath, I use music, dance and yoga to stay embodied, I try to be open and honest with myself and those closest to me and I let myself be supported.
And when I decide to stay I can soak in the energy of the gift. I feel myself clearing ancestral trauma around it, I welcome the support of my multidimensional team and I feel myself move through these fears and into a new level of awareness. And THEN my channels open to all of this new, precious, delightful energy and it courses through me. That's what happens when you STAY. You change the constitution of your energy field. Side note: STAYING doesn't man collapsing into it. It means immersing yourself in the feelings of it all, knowing that it isn't WHO YOU ARE. It's a fear, a shadow, an energetic pattern (what you call it is up to you), and you can use all of the tools you have to come back to your centre. You can SEE beyond it and it doesn't consume you. True embodiment is about staying and opening to the sensations; and exploring, not being consumed.
All you have to do to invite in the gift of a situation is set that intention for yourself. You will ALWAYS find what you are looking for and if you are always looking for the gift, that's what you will get (sometimes you just need to stay a little longer to find it). You always have a choice.
You can also use the exact process above to find the gift in the 'highs' in life. Often they are a chance for us to practice STAYING in that feeling of joy and ecstasy too! Because most of us don't feel 100% worthy of everything, all of the time! Have you ever dismissed a compliment, or immediately starting to doubt something amazing that's happened, like 'this is too good to be true'? That's just conditioning doing it's thing, fear that the feeling won't last. It's actually the exact same situation that I described above, just with different emotions and physical sensations. You can use all of the exact same techniques to stay with it and relish in it. To build your tolerance to having this incredible energy in your field.